


The Jars of Hearts*

by Bri (Hyshl4v4in_Sheao)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 06:30:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19267720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyshl4v4in_Sheao/pseuds/Bri
Summary: *This is a very messy work in progress that I only posted to get some feedback on it.





	1. New Home, New Disasters

I stared at the one place I had called home for so long. Why did Kaleb have to stab that girl? All she did was have a little crush on me, but of course, Kaleb had to overreact. Kaleb isn't alive, I'd say he's more of a ghost or demon that protects me and also annoys me. I enjoy our talks through our thoughts. I’m leaving this home in Pennsylvania to go to a new-old home in Oregon. The town I’ll be living in is one I used to live. I really don't want to leave, I have friends here. They're probably terrified of me now, though.

“Come on, Gabe. We have to get going.” My social worker, Ms. Smith, called to me. She was holding the car door open for me. I grabbed my book bag off the ground and started towards the car. I tend to be rude to others because I know if they get too close Kaleb will do something about it.

 

**~~~~**

**~~~~**

 

We stopped at a gas station to get something to eat so I decided to check my Loller to see if anyone had messaged me.

 

\--

**_J0y0us Giant [JG] started Lolling with S3condS Spirits [SS]_ **

JG: Dude, my dad adopted this kid that stabbed someone. He’s supposed to be here by this afternoon.

JG: what if he kills me in my sleep?!

SS: H3 might’ve had a good reason 2 stab th3 person.

JG: HOW CAN YOU SYMPATHIZE WITH HIM?! HE STABBED SOMEONE! Sure, she's alright but STILL.

SS: you'r3 proj3cting 2 much.

SS: b3sid3s I had 2 g3t up at lik3 2 in th3 morning ‘cuz I'm going to a n3w family today.

JG: why'd you have to leave your old family?

SS: I bit som3on3 ‘cuz I h3ard th3m talking shit about m3.

JG: very C00l of you JG: very c00l SS: anyway I got 2 go

SS: w3 r hitting th3 road again

JG: K!

JG: Talk to you when you get there

**_J0y0us Giant [JG] ceased Lolling with S3condS Spirits [SS]_ **

\--

 

I dozed off a bit after we started driving again.

 

**~~~~**

**~~~~**

 

“Gabe, we’re here,” Ms. Smith said. I nodded and grabbed my book bag. She led me to the house where three people stood.

“Gabe, this is Mr. Jackson and his sons, Kayden and Jake,” She introduced me. I gave a slight bow to them. Ms. Smith got in the car and left. The kid that seemed to be my age approached me.

“Hi! Want a tour of the house?” He asked. His brother murmured a hello and retreated into the house. I nodded, he seemed kind. He put his hand on my shoulder and guided me inside.

" _WHY IS HE TOUCHING YOU?!_ " Kaleb yelled.

‘He’s giving us a tour of the house,’ I replied. Kaleb huffed; he hates it when people touch me so I pushed Jake’s hand off my shoulder.

 

~~~~

 

“And here's your room. So go ahead and get unpacked,” Jake said, then he went to my room. I opened the door and entered.

There was a bed on the far side with green and brown sheets, covers, and pillows. The carpet was brown and the walls were dark green. There was a closet as well as an oak desk with a black computer chair.

I set my bag on the bed, took my clothes out, and put the clothes in the closet. I took out my notebook and writing utensils and put them on the desk. I laid down on the bed and took my pocket knife out of my bag. I started tossing it into the air and catching the blade part, careful not to cut myself.

‘Hey, Kaleb. I bet I can catch the knife by the blade thirty times without cutting myself,’ I challenged.

" _Good luck, doofus,_ " Kaleb responded. I got to twenty-five when someone knocked on the doorframe.

“Hey, dad wants you to know that supper will be…,” I heard Jake trail off. I ended up catching the blade end of the knife, but it dug into my palm. I dropped the knife started licking at the wound while searching for my mini first aid kit. I found it and took out the bandages. I wrapped my hand and was about to reach for my knife again when I noticed Jake was holding my knife.

“Why do you have a knife?” Jake asked, his voice quavering. He’s probably scared that I'll kill him or someone related to him. I glared at him and motioned for him to give me my knife. I wasn't talking to this sack of shit.

He ran out yelling for his dad. I chased after him. How was he faster than me? Jake stopped in front of his dad. I was pissed, he took my knife and made me cut myself.

“Dad, Gabe had this knife and I think he's gonna try to kill us with it,” Jake whined. I rolled my eyes.

“Did he try attacking you with it?” Mr. Jackson asked.

“No,” Jake answered.

“Then he doesn't intend to hurt us,” Mr. Jackson explained.

“But-” Jake started, but was cut off by Mr. Jackson.

“No buts. Now, what was he doing with the knife?” Mr. Jackson questioned.

“He was tossing it in the air and catching the blade part. I think I spooked him though ‘cuz he cut his hand on the blade when I knocked on his doorframe,” Jake responded.

I tapped Jake’s shoulder and pointed to the knife. He handed it to me and I started heading back to my room, tossing the knife and catching the tip of the blade in my mouth.

“See, he won't harm us,” Jake’s dad said. I looked back in time to see Jake looking at me. So I gave him a sinister smile, the knife in my mouth. The look of terror on his face made me hold back a laugh.

 

~~~~

 

I laid down on my bed still tossing the knife in the air, my door closed. I managed to get to two hundred. I hadn't been here for more than a few hours and someone was already scared of me. I stopped tossing the knife. What is wrong with me?! Why is everyone I meet afraid of me?! Do I deserve to be friendless?! And why did I smile at Jake like that?! He probably won't sleep easily because of me.

I felt tears roll down my cheeks. I didn't bother wiping them away, just a reminder of how weak I am. I turned on my side, facing the wall. I clutched the knife, I can't believe I'm doing this again. I pulled up my maroon sleeve, put the knife to my skin, and let it dig in as I slid it across my arm. I did this multiple times before, but the pain never gets easier to bear. I watched the blood drip down my arm for a second before sliding my knife across my arm again. I slid the knife across my skin five more times before I pulled down my sleeve again. I took one of my dark red shirts out of my closet and put it under my arm. I let the tears run down my face as I stifled sobs.

Someone knocked on my door. I didn't bother getting up, they'd come in anyway. I heard the door creak open.

“Hey, supper is ready,” I heard Jake say. I growled I didn't feel like eating. I used my left hand to give him the middle finger since it wasn't the arm that was currently bleeding.

“Fine. You can stay up here and plan how to kill me,” Jake sneered.

I'm not planning on killing him, I'm planning how to kill myself because I can't take being feared and hated anymore!

I sat up and glared at him. I aimed the knife at the wall next to him and threw it. The knife stuck in the wall. Jake’s eyes widened and he ran out of my room.

I got up, locked the door, and retrieved my knife. I didn't want anyone to see me. I crawled under the covers keeping the red shirt under my arm, so my blood didn't stain the sheets. I finally let the sobs escape.

A few minutes later there was another knock on my door. Then the rattle of the doorknob.

“Gabe, you need to come down and eat,” Mr. Jackson called. I ignored him, tears stained my cheeks and my body shivered from no longer being able to produce tears to match my anguish.

“I'll bring you some food, but if it's not eaten after a few hours I'll put it in the fridge,” Mr. Jackson said.

After a few seconds, I got up, unlocked my door, and pulled down my sleeves. After a bit, Mr. Jackson opened the door and sat on the bed next to me.

“Why’d you throw the knife at Jake?” He asked, handing me a plate of food. I took the plate of food, took a few bites, then put the plate on my desk.

“He insulted me,” I replied.

“How did he insult you?” Mr. Jackson questioned.

“After I flipped him off he said that I could stay up here and plan how to kill him,” I explained.

“So, are you okay?” Mr. Jackson pressed.

“Yeah,” I said, half-heartedly.

“Okay, let me know if you need anything,” Mr. Jackson smiled and left. I laid back down and fell asleep.

 

**~~~~**

**~~~~**

 

I heard screams, so I went to my parents' room only to see my twin brother cutting them to pieces. Their blood staining the carpet, their eyes devoid of life, and their bodies distorted. He turned to look at me and plunged the knife into his stomach over and over, laughing. Oh, how that laugh sent shivers down my back. I screamed for him to stop and cried for I knew it would do nothing. When the light finally left him, I ran towards him and cradled him in my arms. Blood soaking my clothes and I cried harder than ever before. I had lost my whole world in under a minute.

 

**~~~~**

**~~~~**

 

I woke up, put my head on my knees, and cried as hard as I did that day. I didn't bother silencing my sobs and occasional scream-like cries. I shouldn't be alive; I could've stopped all of that from happening. I rolled up my sleeves and clawed at my cuts, opening the scabs that started to form.

“Gabe, are you okay?” Kayden asked. I shook my head even though he couldn't see me. I didn't bother getting up, the door was unlocked. I shifted my sleeves to their original position. He entered the room; he looked concerned for me like a brother should be if their younger brother is hurting.

“Need a hug?” Kayden questioned. I nodded, tears still falling. Kayden embraced me and I hugged him back. Kaleb seemed to be ok with this, either that or my nightmare has him brooding again. Probably the latter. Kayden released me, ruffled my hair, and headed towards the door.

“Try to get some sleep. We have school today.” Kayden ordered. I nodded as he left closing the door. I grabbed my phone and logged onto Loller.

 

\--

**_J0y0us Giant [JG] started Lolling with S3condS Spirits [SS]_ **

JG: ugh, this kid is so rude and devil-like 1:42 PM

JG: he’s crying obnoxiously loud now 3:35 AM

JG: why can't he cry silently? 3:36 AM

SS: you hav3n’t told m3 his nam3 y3t 3:44 AM

JG: his name is Gabriel 3:45 AM

SS: Cool 3:46 AM

SS: h3y, what ar3 your initials 3:47 AM

JG: why 3:48 AM

SS: I n33d som3thing 2 distract m3 so guessing your nam3 s33m3d good 3:49 AM

JG: J.N.J 3:50 AM

SS: I'm gonna log off so I can write down possibl3 nam3s 3:51 AM

JG: Bye 3:52 AM

**_S3condS Spirits [SS] ceased Lolling with J0y0us Giant [JG]_ **

\--

 

While we were texting I realized that he said the kid’s name was what my name is and that he was crying loudly, too. My best friend is terrified of me and hates me, great.

I kept myself occupied until my phone said it was four thirty. Then I got out of bed and went to my closet. I picked out a black sweater, skinny jeans, a pair of boxers, and black combat boots. I quietly made my way to the bathroom. No one was awake yet and if they were they were in their rooms. I got in the shower the hot water stinging my cuts. Ah, pain. Isn’t it wonderful?

 

~~~~

 

I stayed in my room until I heard Kayden call for me. I made my way downstairs after I grabbed my book-bag, pocket knife, and phone. Jake was glaring at me and Kayden had a slight smile on his face. I wish I could bring myself to smile.

“Jake has the same schedule as you so he'll help you around,” Kayden explained. I nodded, I wasn't looking forward to staying with him the whole day especially now that I knew I've been talking to him for years and that he hates me.

“ _We should kill them in their sleep,_ ” Kaleb said.

“We are NOT going to kill them, Kaleb,” I responded.

“ _It'd be fun though!_ ” Kaleb whined.

“No, we aren't going to hurt them,” I hissed.

“ _But Jake hates you and Kayden probably only comforted you because his dad said so._ ”

“WE ARE NOT GOING TO HURT THEM!”

“ _Don't you like seeing others in pain?_ ”

“No, I don't and if you want to do something fun by your standards get me an out of school suspension.”

“ _Fine._ ”

I shook my head to bring myself back to reality.

“C'mon, Gabe. We're leaving,” Kayden called. I nodded and headed after them.

I ended up walking next to Jake after Kayden had gone his separate way. My body tensed knowing that he was just as capable of hurting me as I to him.

“You're a freak. You know that, right?” Jake hissed. I clenched my hands to keep them from wrapping around his neck.

“I mean, you probably get off when you see the light leave people's eyes,” Jake sneered.

Images of that day went through my mind: how happy we had been that morning, how I could sense that Kaleb had changed, how I ignored it, how right before we went to sleep Kaleb said that he wouldn't be seeing me in the morning, the light leaving Kaleb’s eyes, and our parents lifeless bodies.

I stopped for a second, feeling tears threaten to run down my face. I felt the sense of anguish return full force, threatening to destroy what is left of my sanity. I resumed walking, catching up to Jake who was already in the school zone.

“Aw, is the psychopath gonna cry?” Jake taunted.

The anguish was replaced with rage, making my common sense disappear. Before I could calm myself, I punched Jake in the face. I felt a pair of arms restrict me before I could bash Jake’s face in. I struggled against them, Jake was so going to die when I got released.

“Boys, what is going on?” An authoritative voice asked.

“We were just walking together when he attacked me,” Jake whimpered.

He was playing the goddamn victim card! I kicked at the authoritative figures lower areas and elbowed at their upper body. They let go of me once I gave a good solid hit to their chest. I ran towards Jake. He started to turn, but I tackled him and had him face me. I hit his head off the concrete and landed a few good blows to his face. Two pairs of arms pried me off of Jake and held me tightly.

“You're a deranged gay lunatic, Gabriel,” Jake spat. I struggled against my oppressors. Oh, how I wanted to send my knife through his chest.

“Quit, struggling kid,” One of the teachers that held me barked. I stopped struggling and let them take me to God-knows-where. 

 


	2. Maybe Guidance Is What You Need?

They took me to the Guidance office. Great, Another year of this goddamn bullshit.

“You can let go of him now,” said who I guess is the guidance counselor. They released me. The counselor pointed to one of the chairs. I reluctantly sat.

“Now, do you know who I am and why you're here, Gabe?” She said. I shook my head, I knew why I was here just not who she was.

“Well, I'm Mrs. Duke. The guidance counselor of Remington High School. Gabe, You're here because you randomly attacked Jake Jackson for no apparent reason,” Mrs. Duke told me. I nodded, I almost always remain silent when being forced to speak to a counselor.

“We just want to know why you attacked him,” she said. I kept my mouth shut. They don't deserve to know what memories he unearthed.

“Are you aware that you'll get an out of school suspension for this?” Mrs. Duke asked. I nodded.

I already got an out of school suspension? That's definitely a new record.

“Why don't we give your caretaker a call?” Mrs. Duke suggested though it was more of an order. I just went along with it and nodded. She picked up the phone and dialed a number. The phone rang for a little.

“Hi, I'm calling about Gabriel’s behavior,” Mrs. Duke said into the phone. I tuned out.

“ _Geez, we already got out of school suspension,_ ” Kaleb said, absentmindedly.

“A new record,” I joked.

“ _Heh, yeah,_ ” Kaleb laughed.

“At least we got to beat Jake’s face in,” I shrugged.

“ _Yeah. And how he tried playing the victim card was classic,_ ” Kaleb laughed. I laughed too, he had a point.

“Well, since we have an out of school suspension we can spend more time together,” I suggested.

“ _Yeah! And we can have a knife catching contest!_ ” Kaleb said, excitedly. I knew he’d suggest a knife catching contest. A voice brought me back to reality.

“Your father is on his way,” Mrs. Duke told me. Memories of my father’s smile flooded my mind; How the edge of his eyes crinkle and his smile so soft and quiet it made me feel better no matter what. Mr. Jackson was nothing like him. His smiles were either strained or too loud*. (*As in he smiles with his teeth showing.)

“He’s not my father,” I growled. She just nodded.

 

~~~~

 

Mr. Jackson arrived a few minutes later. When we started driving Mr. Jackson started the usual lecture with the usual question.

“Why'd you attack Jake?” He asked. I shrugged, he was an idiot if he couldn't figure it out.

“It was wrong of you to attack him for no reason. You could've controlled yourself. What you did was completely out of line,” he lectured. I rolled my eyes and zoned out.

“ _Do you think he'll ever shut the hell up?_ ” Kaleb asked.

“Probably not. He is lecturing us after all,” I responded.

“ _I wanna do something,_ ” Kaleb whined.

“I can see if Joyous Giant is on loller,” I suggested.

“ _Kay,_ ” Kaleb said, lazily.

  
\--

_**S3condS Spirits [SS] Started lolling with J0y0us Giant [JG]** _

SS: you on?

JG: Yeah. The kid I was telling you about attacked me and I'm now in the nurse’s office.

SS: Did you provok3 him?

JG: What?! Of course not!

SS: s33ms unlik3ly that h3’d attack you out of nowh3r3

JG: Like I said he stabbed a girl

JG: He has no self c0ntr0l

SS: 3v3ryon3 has 2 hav3 som3 s3lf control

JG: well he doesn't

SS: I hav3 2 go

JG: Yeah, me 2

_**S3condS Spirits [SS] Ceased lolling with J0y0us Giant [JG]** _

\--

I looked out the window. He had provoked me and didn't even want to admit it to someone who could be living miles away. True that person was me, but he didn't know that.

The car stopped in front of our house and I got out. I quickly made my way to my room. I didn't want to sit through the rest of that lecture.

When I got to my room I locked the door and grabbed my notebook. I started writing absentmindedly. I didn't even realize how much time had passed until I heard a knock on my door.


End file.
